dreams

i had a dream last night. i've had this dream many times before. i really wish i could stop having it, because while i am sleeping it feels amazing, but it becomes a nightmare when i open my eyes.

it was late at night. we had met up the way we had been doing for so many years, secretly under the cover of darkness. we sat in his car looking at each other, the lights from the instument panel illuminated his eyes making them sparkle. his smile was unmistakable, it was the smile he reserved for me...my smile. we had been sharing with each other how much we loved the other, how much we missed being together, how torturous our seperation was. my gaze moved away from his face to stare out the windshield into the darkness. quiet music came from the car speakers, taking my mind to sweet memories of incredible days we had spent together window shopping, holding hands, pretending we were a "normal" couple. i felt his hand gently touch my chin and turn my face back to his. it was then, as our eyes met and our souls became one again, that he told me he was leaving her for me. in my dream, he said, "i told her i love you. i told her that it's always been you." he took my hand in his and said, "you are worth the struggle i will have to go through. i will do whatever it takes so that we can start our life together. i want to spend the rest of my life with you, i don't want to waste another minute away from you." he smiled at me and continued "i know it's going to be hard for everyone; you, me, my kids...i know that your family and friends may not understand your decision to be with me and they will try to talk you out of it...but i know that together we will be able to survive this. i know you will do whatever you can to make it as easy as possible for me and the kids and i will do the same for you. i will put aside my pride and make myself available to your family and friends. i will do this for you." he softly kissed the tear that was sliding down my cheek, then kissed my lips in the most incredible kiss i had ever experienced. it was a soft, gentle kiss that was so filled with love i thought i might burst from its power...

stupid dreams