Conversation with my ego

Conversation I had with my ego today (yes, that is a kind of way of saying I talk to myself!):

Me: "Hey ego, what's up with you today? Can't you see that I'm becoming a much more positive person, I'm actually looking forward to the future while appreciating everything I have right now? Why are you trying to ruin my mood, bring me down? Why are you dredging up all this negative garbage from the past? Don't you think we deserve a better, more abundant life?"

My ego: "Of course we deserve better! But we don't have all the things you are wanting because of other people and what THEY think of us! We don't own our own home because your Mommy and Daddy made you feel like you didn't deserve it! You ARE a decent writer but you'll never get published and you'll certainly never make money writing because your family made you feel like you'll never amount to anything, so of course you won't! WE don't have what WE deserve because of EVERY ONE ELSE! It isn't OUR fault! No, wait...it isn't MY fault! I love you. I've always been here for you. Well, most of the time. Sure, I may have said "I told you so" a few times but I was just being truthful! I can't help it that you're so sensitive and believe every negative thing I say! No, it's everyone else's fault, including YOURS! I like things the way they are. I'm comfortable. If all these so-called wonderful things start appearing, you're going to leave me behind. You won't need me anymore. When you consciously choose what to think and how to feel, I feel left out and alone. I can't let that happen! I won't!! I will block EVERY GOOD THING from coming to you! I don't care that you deserve it! I am more important then "GOD", I'm bigger then your "Universe"! Please don't leave me, I promise I'll be good..."

Me: "I love you(me). I forgive you for being scared and trying to blame everyone else. But sweetie, I am responsible for exactly where I am right now, I am responsible for everything I have and don't have, no one else. It's ok. It's going to be wonderful! Trust that!"

disclaimer: my parents and family are amazing! i love you guys! :D