Thursday, February 28, 2013

Don't erase those old posts!!

I have a new outlook on life. Because of this renewed faith in life I thought, I need to delete all those negative, yucky, cry-cry, self-pitying posts from my past. I was going to erase my blog and start from scratch.

But that wouldn't be fair to my past. You can't just erase what happened. It happened. I have to honor those experiences. I have to give thanks to those feelings because they made me who I am today. They got me through whatever perceived trauma I was putting myself through at that particular time.

I can't just erase the past. I can choose to look at those experiences differently. Did you know that you can change the past? You can! Take one moment from your past and just for a moment, look at it differently. It can simply be a trip to the grocery store. Was the line long? Was the cashier slow? Did the lady in front of you take her sweet time paying? Was the couple behind you too close to you, invading your space? Was that baby screaming its bloody head off??? OMG, get me the hell OUT OF HERE! Now...just take a couple minutes to look at it from a different angle. Was the line long because you chose to go to the store at the time of day when the store is the busiest? Was the cashier slow because he is an older gentleman who was laid off and because he is older, he can't find a position in his field and he is doing the best that he can do at this low-paying yet completely necessary and vital job? Yes, the lady in front of you was slow. Not everyone speeds through life like it's a NASCAR race. It's not her fault that you chose to come to the store at the busiest time of day and get in line behind her. What about that couple behind you? Sure, they were oblivious to your personal space but they are in love! Can you blame them? They were lost in the moment, they were enjoying each others company, they were excited to be shopping together! It certainly isn't their fault that you are at the store alone! Yes, they could have backed up but were they really hurting you, or just annoying you? And that poor baby...maybe he's sick, hungry, poopy, or just a baby! Mom is probably extremely stressed out because she's trying to get the shopping done, she is fully aware that her baby is screaming but she's in line and there is nothing she can do right now. Giving her dirty looks and silently judging her for letting her baby cry is NOT going to help her. She is doing the best she can do. She wants to get out of that store as quickly as you do!

Did looking at your "miserable" shopping trip differently change the way you thought of it? Just think of how much more pleasant your evening would have been if you weren't pissed off at everybody at the store. Remember that trip, that evening...now let go of all the ugly. Just look at it as a shopping trip, drop all the emotion. Do you remember it differently now? There, you just changed the past! And I bet you changed your present as well. Did thinking about the shopping trip that you thought was miserable get you irritated all over again? How do you feel now that you've allowed yourself to let go of the ugly and see it differently? I hope you feel better. I hope you carry that positive emotion with you all day, thereby affecting your future.

By seeing the past differently, by letting go of the negative emotions, we can change it which changes the way we feel NOW, which will change the way we look at the future.

One more example...have you ever had a fight with your best friend? I mean the kind of fight that made you hate that person with ever fiber of your being, the relationship-destroying conflict that tore you apart with no thoughts of ever being able to fix it. Every time you think of that person your blood boils, you get angry and your pulse races! You curse that person to everyone you know! There is no end to the number of people who are going to know the terrible thing your supposed BFF did to you! Then one day you are out and about and oh crap! There she is! There is no avoiding her! Don't make eye contact! Imma kill that bitch if she dare talk to me!!! Oh crap, here she comes! Then she starts to talk by saying how sorry she is, and suddenly this story comes out of her that you've never heard before, her side of the story is so overwhelming, so emotional, so real....you feel the anger & hate dissolving, the bitterness has been replaced by compassion and the love that you once held for your BFF that was lost forever is now back, stronger then ever. You find yourself forgiving her, hugging her, crying for her. In an instant you no longer see the "event" as you did before, it is totally different now, and it doesn't matter at all. Seeing the past differently has changed your past, your present and your future because you have your best friend back! Just a few minutes ago the only plans you had for the future that included her was attending her funeral! Now you are already making plans to have lunch! Everything is different!

You can do that without being cornered by her. You can let go of the past now, without ever setting eyes on her. Forgive your best friend or whomever you feel did you wrong. Look at your role in the situation, with real honesty. Forgive yourself, if for nothing else other then letting that one event have so much power over you. Let it go. Stop dwelling on it. Stop letting it affect how you feel now (I'm sure that all of your friends who have heard the story a thousand times will appreciate it too!). Looking at it differently, letting it go will change your NOW and your future, and the other person involved doesn't even have to know.

I am not going to erase my past posts because I see them differently now. They are a part of me, they made me who I am, but they do not define me. They no longer affect my present or my future. I have let them go. By changing the way I look at them, I have changed the effect they have on me which has changed my present and my future.

I hope your day is abundant!



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