life is suffering

People think Buddhism is negative because it says "Life is suffering". I have only read a little about Buddhism but I have learned that Buddhists study something called The Four Noble Truths. It's pretty simple actually, and it makes alot of sense. They do believe that life is suffering, but there is so much more to it. The truths are:

1) There is suffering
2) There is a cause or origin of suffering
3) There is an end of suffering
4) There is a path out of suffering

We all know that life is hard and full of pain. We have all suffered. I am hurting from a broken heart, hurting in a way that I never thought imaginable. I gave away my Bronco's ticket yesterday because I knew that I wouldn't be able to fake my way through the game, the crowds, the traffic, etc. I stayed home and wallowed in my tears and questioned why life is so incredibly unfair: why hasn't any man wanted to love me the way I have loved them, why am I alone, questioning my faith in the universe and my faith in myself...I literally cried all day. I made plans in my head for who will take care of my daughter when I died from my broken heart. Suffering is sickness & physical pain, it is getting pissed off because someone took the closer parking spot or your dog chewed up your favorite shoes. Suffering is a movie ending in a ridiculous way, or your team not winning. It is disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. The Buddhists have it right when they say life is suffering. If that is where your knowledge of Buddhism stops, then the perception that Buddhists are negative is pretty accurate. But when you look further into it, they aren't negative at all. I am finding that the Buddhist "path" is pretty wonderful.


I am by no means an expert in Buddhism. I know very little about it. What I like about it so far is the idea of taking the personal out of things. For instance, notice I said right now I am suffering from a broken heart. The idea of saying I am makes it very personal to me, it is MY pain. When I do that, I think that no one has ever felt the kind of pain I am feeling right now, no one could possibly understand what I am going through, I am all alone in my heartache and sense of betrayal. If I would simply change the way I look at it by saying "There is this suffering, this pain", it takes the personal out of it and it makes the pain alot easier to handle. I admit it, I am not ready to say that; I am pretty attached to my pain right now, it feels a bit like a security blanket. But even as I type "There is this suffering" I can feel my pain level dropping a little bit. Instead of being a 10 out of 10, it's maybe an 8.

Whats my point? I'm not sure. I think that when I am ready to let go of the pain I am feeling from my disappointment and unanswered prayers, I will look to the East and say, "There is this pain" and see my situation from a different perspective. Maybe someday I will be able to see that just because the only man who wanted to be with me instead of some other girl turned out to be an abusive piece of crap and treated his dog better then he treated me, that doesn't mean I am not worthy of committment and love. Maybe I will understand that I have dodged a lot of bullets & should be thankful that most of the men I gave my heart to chose another person rather then me (there are 2 men, including the current source of my pain, that I will never see as a "dodged bullet", i will always see them as a lost chance at real love). If I can learn to change my thinking to see my heartache for what it is: a temporary situation that, like everything else, will change and fade and become a distant memory, I know I will be ok. Until then, the suffering is mine.

There is so much more to Buddhism that I am looking forward to learning. I know it can help me understand that my tears will not flow forever, that someday I will want to try again rather then thinking I would prefer to be alone the rest of my life, and I am not going to die from a broken heart. I'm not going to walk away from my possessions, treck across the Himalayas, don an orange robe, shave my head and spend hours meditating while breathing in incense and listening to gongs and chanting. But if doing a little more research and learning more about Buddhism and their Four Noble Truths can help me feel better, it will be worth it. I'll let ya know where my path takes me.

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"If only I could throw away the urge to trace my patterns in your heart, I could really see you." David Brandon (Zen in the Art of Helping)

"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."
Buddhist saying

I found this on http://viewonbuddhism.org/
"One afternoon, Nasruddin and his friend were sitting in a cafe, drinking tea and talking about life and love.
His friend asked: 'How come you never married?'
'Well,' said Nasruddin, 'to tell you the truth, I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no common interests. One woman after another would seem just right, but there would always be something missing. Then one day, I met her; beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had very much in common. In fact, she was perfect!'
'So, what happened?' asked Nasruddin's friend, 'Why didn't you marry her?'
Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively. 'Well,' he replied, 'it's really the sad story of my life.... It seemed that she was looking for the perfect man...' "

;)