i want one person to know

"I am in love with this woman, I have been for the last 7 years."
It's what I've always wanted to hear him say in front of people. He didn't for the longest time. For many years we were "friends" to everyone outside of us. I didn't bullshit anyone, I told everyone as soon as I realized how much he meant to me, what he meant to me. Not him. It hasn't been until recently that he has started admitting to others what he feels for me. He said this the other night to a friend of his. Later, when we were alone, we were talking about our present state of affairs (pun intended) and he said, "I said I was in love with you in front of *name omitted for his protection*. Doesn't that tell you how much you mean to me?" "Yes, it does. But you haven't admitted to the one person I want to know more then anyone else in this world what I mean to you. Does she know that you are in love with me?"
He said, "She knows I love you."
"Does she know you are IN LOVE with me?"
"She knows I love you."
"Tell me exactly how it came about that she knows that you love me? How did you tell her? (I already knew, I just wanted to know if there was more then just the one occasion) Was it after she got the letter when she was interrogating you about me?"
"Yes, she said, 'What does she mean to you, do you love her? And I said 'Yeah"."

:/

I want the world to know how he feels about me. I want him to shout it from the roof tops, announce it on Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve, publish it in the New York Times, pay oodles of money for a 15 second spot during the Super Bowl letting the world know that he is in love with me. But if none of that can happen, I would die happy if SHE knew he was in love with me, and not via second hand knowledge or rumor or happening upon a blog written by a crazy woman. I want him to look into her eyes and say "I am IN LOVE with her".

Is that cruel? I suppose it is. Sometimes the truth can be cruel. Believe me, I know all about that. The truth of knowing that despite "being in love with me" he still hasn't left her for me is pretty fucking cruel. The truth that even though she knows all about me and his affair, she stays and, as far as I can tell, has no real plans on leaving is cruel. But being cruel isn't my only motivation in wanting to hear him admit it to her. I need the validation. Yes, that is a bullshit thing and I'm not proud of it, but I need to be validated. My love for him and his love for me, our relationship, it may as well never have existed if she lives the rest of her life not knowing that he is in love with me. Yes, I'm going to hell for that, but at least I won't have to see her there.

(disclaimer: all feelings are subject to change. nothing is permanent. one may feel one way on any given day, this does not in any way imply that said person will not feel differently on a different day.)